i showed you my guts.

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A lil quickie in my diary. 17/10/12:agitated and frustrated

13 thoughts on “i showed you my guts.”

  4. Wednesday, August 29, 2012
    Dear Diary,
    Sometimes I feel like the typical character in a movie about split personalities or alter egos. I get responses from people which leave me absolutely stunned; I often have no clue as to why they would be responding like they do. I realize I am two people and rarely somebody understands and tolerates it. I´m constantly misunderstood because I contradict myself a lot. And to top if off I cannot keep any of this a secret, I wear it on my sleeve so beware: if it´s me approaching you and you´re squeamish you better turn your head. I suffer from transparency disease. I cannot apologize for this, so the least I can do is hand out warnings.

  5. Cecilia: i read this before (was it on here?).. Powerful. Especially the last bit. In the past, as some sort of bitter personal joke i thought:’ wouldnt it be handy and fun, if i created a flyer to hand out to people that i meet for the first time? With the pro’s and con’s? That way i wouldnt have to analyze myself over and over again and put the blame on me. When they reject me. And i wouldnt suffer so much, because of yet another loss.’

  7. yes eva i had this on fb once…love the idea of the flyer. i do wish i could filter the ones who want to stay around (even with my transparency and all…)quicker, because sometimes you spend a lot of time getting to know somebody and even fall in love with somebody…just to be given the
    ” oh- no- lady,- please,- show -my -your- cunt, -show- me- your- mind-, show- me -all -you- want-…just- don´t- show- me- your- guts-Look.”

  9. So well put, the both of you. I guess I am mostly alone these days because people who don’t have the guts to see all of me… well… I just don’t have the time or inclination to try and make them an edited version anymore. I’d rather be alone than pretend.

What do you think?