Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you’ve got a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies ―”God damn it, you’ve got to be kind”.
― Kurt Vonnegut, from God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater
fleurmach 
You have to cruel to be kind sometimes, and often kindness can get people into big shit. I have seen both happen before. Often. I am very sceptical when people talk about love, happiness, kindness…these things often come to us disguised. And those beautiful things can often make us very, very pious as well. Kindness is often associated with selflessness, when I´ve seen kind people addicted to kindness. Scenario:
The kind: “Take this, it is for you.”
Other: “No thank you, I don´t want it.”
The kind: “ No, really, take it. TAKE IT.”
Other: “ I don´t really want it.”
The kind: “ You do! You do want it, take it, it´s yours!”
Other: “Hmm, Ok, thanks…I guess.”
The kind: Walks away, utterly grateful for the wonderful feeling of his kindness being received, being accepted. Likes himself a lot now. Feels good.
Isn´t he kind?
Sure. Very selfless indeed.
what you describe above is not kindness though; it does not make gracious allowance for the other person’s needs or wishes, which is what kindness does.
I don´t think these terms can be defined at all.
…but then again, I have so many realities, who is to say that kindness is not what you describe it to be in one of my realities too, at least.
kindness is practical, a practice. there’s no theory to it.
Theory and practice are both part of the relay.